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Whatever — let the stampede start for “Pokemon: The First
Movie.” It’s certain to prompt a preteen jam-up of ticket lines and
blockbuster box-office sales this weekend at every multiplex in the Bay Area.

Opening today, two days earlier than originally scheduled, the big-
screen version of the Pocket Monster phenomenon that won’t quit rides
into theaters on a wave of video games, books, comics, trading cards
and a super-hot kids’ television
series, courtesy of Warner Bros. Forget Toyota and Honda; Pokemon is
Japan’s monster import these days.

Does it matter what a critic says about the merits of “Pokemon:
The First Movie”? Not a bit. But for the record, it isn’t terrible.
It’s far from a milestone in Japanese animation, and not an
especially memorable entertainment. Yet it doesn’t try to be either
of those things.

As long as the rotund, fuzzy Pikachu, with windswept ears and
lightning-bolt tail, is onscreen with human trainer Ash Ketchum and
pals Misty and Brock, it hardly matters that “Pokemon: The First
Movie” is little more than a long TV-style cartoon episode that
requires the purchase of a ticket.

And a phenomenon like “Pokemon” guarantees theaters full of kids
and their antsy energy, along with sticky floors. That can be fun for
adults, too, except those who can’t stand kids.

For anyone who has somehow missed the Pokemon thing, it began in
Japan a warp-speed three years ago, when Nintendo introduced “Pocket
Monsters” software for its popular Game Boy portable video game
system. The game was created by software wizards Satoshi Tajiri and
Tsunekazu Ishihara.

Pokemon is an interactive role-
playing game. Players, called trainers, keep a number of small
creatures of various species on hand to fight one another. It’s like
dachshund owners letting their dogs out to engage in combat at the
local park.

The Pokemon are not quite robots. Each one — and there are now
151, which parents have shelled out untold millions to buy for their
kids — has special powers and talents. Trainers try to gain status
by skillfully knocking out other Pokemon. That’s part of the game’s
appeal — while violence is inherent, nobody gets killed, just
knocked out, and the little monsters do all the dirty work.

“Pokemon: The First Movie,” released originally in Japan and
dubbed in English for American audiences (there’s even a reference to
Minnesota), introduces a new Pokemon named Mewtwo. This major new
character is a clone of the legendary Pokemon named Mew. Mewtwo looks
like an oversized
cross of cat, squirrel and kangaroo, with a potbelly from too many
Pop Tarts. But Mewtwo is a villainous monster with attitude.

For good reason. He was bioengineered by arrogant humans to be the
strongest Pokemon ever. With Frankensteinian swagger, the critter
decides that it’s time for the Pokemon to break the bondage of their
human trainers. He’s bent on proving his superiority over humans and
other Pokemon and taking over the world. A big, powerful pink bully,
that’s Mewtwo.

Ash, Kristy and Brock are having a nice picnic near the seashore
when they get the call to battle, from a cute girl who appears as a
hologram. They brave stormy seas (stirred up by Mewtwo) and reach
distant New Island, site of a Pokemon contest hosted by the “world’s
greatest Pokemon trainer” (Mewtwo).

Things look grim as Mewtwo shows his powers of destruction. But a
human with heart comes to the rescue.

“Pokemon: The First Movie” is showing with a short titled
“Pikachu’s Vacation.” Although basically a mess, it introduces
Snubble, a doglike Pokemon, and Marrill, a puffy water creature.

Additional characters in the Pokemon movie are Cubone, Raichu,
Psyduck, Togepy and Squirtle. These are all household names anywhere
kids between ages 3 and 11 reside. You may well ask, what’s the world
coming to?

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